X

Xanadu (1980, Robert Greenwald) [NO]
* I bet this is what John Waters’ home movies are like. Anyway, it’s a good example of what happens when people who don’t understand cult movies try to artificially invent one. I don’t understand most cult movies either, which is why you don’t see me trying. What the hell is up with the cartoon bit. I forgot about that until I looked this up at IMDB. Thanks a lot, IMDB.

The X-Files (1998, Rob Bowman) [r]
Hahahaha. Mulder in a snowplow. Actually, this is a fun movie that makes absolutely no sense (even if you did waste away many hours of precious ’90s time watching the TV series) and has many well-mounted suspense and bizarro-paranoia sequences. These guys knew what they were doing.

X-Men (2000, Bryan Singer) [c]
* Singer’s generic run for a “Fun Movie” has no firepower whatsoever. Hugh Jackman is excellent as Wolverine, but the rest of the cast is by the numbers, the story is insipid, and the dialogue, more often than not, is dreadful. “Do you know what happens when a frog is struck by lightning?” Halle Berry asks. “The same thing that happens to everything else!”

X: The Man with X-Ray Eyes (1963, Roger Corman) [c]
* Ray Milland right where he belongs, in a Corman film, suddenly gaining the ability to see through everything. This film takes far too much time doing nothing you don’t expect.